He will never know.

Be each others Jonathans. That is our mindset while here in Kenya. Like Jonathan was for David, we want to be for one another. We want to be constantly loving and trying to put other family members in front of ourselves however that may look. It is our hope then that we would see greater growth in each other instead of ourselves.
It has been a week with this mindset and I am already seeing fruit from this mindset.
 
Recently, it has been a desire of Ryan and I to become broken over sin and hell. Right now we understand in our heads that hell is awful and sin breaks God’s heart, but our hearts are numb to both. We don’t want to understand sin and hell because we enjoy thinking about them. We want to understand both items in order to gain a better appreciation for God’s amazing grace. Now we could read thousands of books about sin and hell, but that would just waste our time. This is a heart matter. God needs to come in and transform our hearts. The best way I know for this to happen is through prayer.
 
Last Friday we were at a late night prayer session and I thought this was a perfect time to ask God for a change of heart. But wait. We are supposed to be each others Jonathans. So instead of my prayer focusing on asking Jesus to break my heart over my sin and hell it went something like this…
            “God please begin to work in Ryan’s heart. Please open his eyes to let him see how much sin he has committed against you and allow that to break him. Allow him to be broken over the millions of souls suffering in hell right now. Break him down to a point where he is weeping and physically hurting over his these things. Allow him to gain this understanding so he can more appreciate Your grace and give You even more glory then he already does. Amen.”
 
I know. It was somewhat harsh, it was somewhat cruel, and a touch comical.
 
It’s not that I actually want Ryan to be sad or physically hurting. I just want him to have the understanding of how real his sin is so he will then understand just how much grace God has given him. Then the chain reaction of Ryan falling more in love with Jesus is inevitable.
 
The next morning my family went out and did some house to house evangelizing. As we were walking Ryan and I began talking. (Ryan had just filled a man with the Holy Spirit) “I am just amazed at God’s grace right now man. He chose to use me to be His tool.” A smile grew on my face. (Not because he called himself a tool) God answered my prayers from the night before! I didn’t want him to know I had been praying for him so I quickly hid my smile. Inside though I was screaming with joy.  Now as time progresses I can’t wait to see what He is going to do next in Ryan while he is covered in prayer.
 
Now you maybe wondering if Ryan will find out that I prayed for him/still am by posting this blog. He won’t have a clue. Ryan is one of those “straight nature” bros that only goes on a computer only when he is forced. So stay tuned as you may get to hear more about answered prayer for Ryan. To my “Current family” if you read this please don’t tell him about it. Just thank him for being straight nature, look at me, and we will have a nice laugh.